My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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