whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
