batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
