I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
