I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
