even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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