we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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