I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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