oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
