The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
