I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
