Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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