i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
