I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize