what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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