What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
