I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
