i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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