You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
