so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
