He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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