Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
