The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
