Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
you never un-have a 4some
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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