What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
