Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
