What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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