Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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