Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Panties = found
Randomize
