i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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