wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
