Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
