is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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