Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you mean i was at the winter classic?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
