his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
