He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize