I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
