how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
