is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
