he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
organizing the empties. That sober.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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