Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We need a shit load of segways right now
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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