New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We got so high we made milksteak
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
