he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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