i would punch a child for taco bell
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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