I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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