she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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