The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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