Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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