Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
