you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
