But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize