Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
