Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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