So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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