Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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