Please, let me fuck your mom
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she smelled like a LAN party
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Let's get the cat blown out
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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