My hand turned me down
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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