if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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