You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
