you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I need a hoe opinion
go on
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
