East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
