sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
